I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i dont even know how to be here
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
