Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize