I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
