Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
