I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
