i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
