Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize