wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
