what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
