Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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