Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
