you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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