this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
