you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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