Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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