So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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