Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
