does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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