when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
