I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
