Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
