Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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