Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
