ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
