I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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