So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
