I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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