kristin has been a bad kristin
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
