It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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