Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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