i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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