thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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