C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
