My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
