He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
