I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
