I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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