My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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