Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize