So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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