i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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