dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
