I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize