WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
