I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
