I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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