i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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