is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
