what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
