yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
