My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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