You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
