so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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