this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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