I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
