HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
